Nazare: Home Of The Brave

Oh if I was a real man, and not just a blogger, such dreams have I.

Greetings friends, this is Phil Tanny from TannyTalk with some eye popping imagery for your amazement. I’m taking a break from saving the world today (sorry world!) to remind myself what we’d be doing if we were real men and women, instead of just mere mortals sitting on our butts blogging and such.

I have the following photo as one of my computer desktop backgrounds, because it reminds me of the religion of my youth, surfing, not that I ever rode a wave that looked anything like that.

Yup, in the next photo that’s a real guy on a real wave, and not an AI generated fake news fantasy image.

The photos and videos on this page were taken at Nazare, Portugal, home to what is currently considered the largest ridable wave in the world.

When I was a surfer the biggest waves I ever rode on Florida’s east coast were maybe twice as high as me. And when I was flying down the face of such Florida waves with my eyes bulging out of my head and a giant lump in my throat, they seemed like HUGE!!! man killing monsters.

Here’s a Florida fellow on a long board, probably pretending he’s teen twerp Phil Tanny back in the sixties. Note the kamikaze stance. Even on a “big” Florida wave, it’s not a casual ride. Which makes you wonder…

What must riding one of the monster waves at Nazare feel like??? WTF!!!!

The surfer in the next photo is so small in relation to the wave he’s easy to miss. He’s just a little dot of white on the right hand side of the picture, carving a thin white line down the face of the wave. But I should stop calling it a wave, cause this dude is riding what looks more like the entire Atlantic Ocean.

Holy mother of God…. what…. a….. monster…..

When I was a kid in the sixties the surfing world was awestruck by our heroes riding 30 foot waves at Waimea Bay in Hawaii. But today, a 30 foot swell is a baby wave at Nazare, where these monster waves often reach two to three times that size. To put that in context, go stand next to a two story building, look up towards the roof, and image riding a wave three or four times as big.

If you’ve never surfed, here’s a quick little experiment you can do to make these images a bit more real.

1. Go out in your yard and fill a five gallon bucket with water, and then carry it around for a minute. Pretty heavy, eh?

2. Next, get your buddy to stand on a ladder and dump the water in the bucket on your head.

3. Now multiply the weight of the water in your bucket by about a billion trillion zillion times or two, and you begin to get a glimpse in to what kind of forces of nature those surfing Nazare are up against.

Next, take a look at the people onshore watching the waves and surfers. Did you notice that most of them are wearing jackets, sweaters and long pants? The water temperature at Navare during the winter big wave surfing season is around 60 degrees.

We have a pool in our backyard, and I won’t even consider getting in until the water temperature is over 75. No way, just forget it!

At Navare they have 60+ foot waves breaking in 60 degree water. And to top off that fun, these monster waves are pushing you right towards the rocks along the shore.

Hey, this is almost as much fun as miniature golf!

The psychology of Florida surfing is pretty simple. It’s fun, it’s a work out, you get wet, it’s beautiful, you get a sun tan, and maybe (probably not) you impress some girls in bikinis on the beach. Yea, there are sharks and jellyfish and salt water up your nose, but surfing in Florida is overwhelmingly almost always just a good time had by all.

The psychology of surfing Nazare is something else entirely. Surfing Nazare is literally risking your life in exchange for the very temporary thrill of a lifetime. It’s a totally insane, but very human, equation. Our brains are two handfuls of jelly, which sometimes demand maximum stimulation, no matter the cost.

Check out this photo. So, how many five gallon buckets of water do you think that wave is? However many buckets it is, if this fellow blows it, they all fall on his head.

But that’s nothing, see below for a photo of me being extremely cool while surfing the monster killer ripples in our swimming pool.

Like, totally awesome dewd!

Seriously, when I was a surfer, way back when the Beach Boys and the Beatles were at the top of the charts, my first surfboard looked just like that. Well, I mean, just like this….

But my board was bigger than that. It was fully ten feet long, and weighed about as much as a VW bug. It was a small boat really. And I lugged it a block to the beach every chance I got. Yup, I spent my teen years living a block from a Florida beach. One doesn’t get much luckier than that. Thanks Dad!

Sadly, my old home beach is all condo crap now, like so much of the rest of Florida. But when I lived there back in the sixties it looked like this.

But, but, who the hell cares about the old days Phil, show us more monster waves!!!

Yea, I’m with ya on that. Back to Nazare we go!!! WOO HOO!!

So we’d better talk about wipeouts, as that’s the scary part. Here’s a wacky big wave wipeout video to start us off.

Why is it so much fun to watch people being absolutely clobbered by waves?

Anyway, when you wipe out on even a Florida wave, you have this experience like being inside of a washing machine. You’re spinning round and round in the dark not knowing which way is up, and holding your breath while the wave has it’s fun with you.

Sometimes your surfboard is in the washing machine with you, and while you’re spinning round and round in the dark you might be wondering just exactly where that big rock hard object is in the washing machine, because you’d prefer it not get smashed in to your face.

On a Florida beach the bottom of the ocean is typically just sand, so no big worry there. But on many beaches around the world the bottom is rock or sharp coral, so that’s more stuff you’re hoping you don’t run in to while going round and round in the washing machine.

If you’re smart you just relax your body as you go round in the washing machine, and before too long you can return to the surface for a much welcome big breath of fresh air. If you’ve never surfed you might think this story is now over, but not quite.

Waves typically move towards the shore in sets, that is, five or six or more waves together in a group rolling in one after another. If you took off on wave #2, there are probably more waves coming right behind it. So just about the time you get out of the wipeout washing machine and can breath again, here comes the next wave which is about to smash in to your face and run you around the washing machine yet again.

And remember, what I just described are wipeouts on Florida waves. What wipeouts must be like at places like Nazare is way beyond my ability to imagine. How anybody survives them is a mystery to me.

So there you have it folks. If you’ve always claimed that human beings are insane, now you have your proof.

The waves of Nazare Portugal.

Home of the brave.

Home of the insane.